VACANCY

007

When we see each other for the first time in a very long while, there is an immense distance between us. We approach each other like strange cats. We circle each other, eyes locked; we do not touch. It is hard to believe that this stranger is the very same man who holds me while I cry, who kisses my neck, who shares my bed.

When we kiss for the first time in a very long while, your mouth is unfamiliar and dangerous. It unnerves me. Your hand on the small of my back is alien and unwanted. I shy away from you.

Distance in time and space parts us like the sea: we seem so separate, yet it only takes so long for us to come crashing together again, limbs tangled, skin against skin. The way I withdraw into myself scares you. I put my love for you on hold. You are never withdrawn, never protect your threatened heart. You think that I will fall out of love with you when we are apart. You do not realise that after we first make love (you desperate, me reluctant), I am yours again. All it takes is intimacy, something to let me pretend that our love has never been halted.

When you first see me, your love for me is still the same. When I first see you, I shake uncontrollably.